I had never heard anyone talk about it before so I didn’t know how to write a song about what would compel someone to hurt themselves. To hear Brittany talk about it, my eyes were opened to the fact that cutting is the same as any other addiction. It is the illusion of “control” as she was feeling powerless and such a victim to things in her life that she wanted to take some steps to control her life. So, she started to hurt herself because that was something she was in charge of about herself. The more she did it, eventually cutting had power over her. Only when she submitted to Jesus was she able gain freedom from the addiction.
The second verse, “Perfection has a price, but I cannot afford to live that life, It always ends the same; a fight I never win,” is my story about struggling with perfectionism. In Brittany’s case, she talked about how when she was in high school her family put a lot of pressure on her and they were completely falling apart. They expected her to be the perfect one and hold her family together. She was trying to live up to that expectation and image that her family had about her and she had about herself. She tried to get good grades in school and stay out of trouble. She tried to salvage her family.
I can personally relate to putting that type of pressure on myself as well. I am a perfectionist. I feel like I really miss out on a lot of life and blessings. My tendency is to not try something unless I’m going to succeed or be really good at something. I’ve been learning that there’s so much to enjoy about this life and I don’t need to be the best to enjoy it. I need to see life as a gift from Him. I’m really trying to be less self-conscious and more joyful."
J.J. Heller
