Clay Crosse had a No. 1 hit single called “I Surrender All,” a beautiful wife and a voice that stood above male vocalists in the ‘90s. So why was he addicted to pornography?Clay Crosse: My lust was out of control.
Renee Crosse: I sat there thinking he’s had an affair.
Clay: My desires were getting out of hand…
Renee: Where’s Clay right now?
Clay: Why am I so out of control?
Clay: I’ve known the Lord since I was 13 years old, and anything that went wrong was because I took my eyes off the Lord.
Clay: More times than not, that was out of focus and what was in focus was I’m becoming a star and how far will this go? How big can this get? Just getting consumed with that. Those were the changes, and I’m not sure they were so good for me. In the midst of all of it, I would sing a song, and I would realize the truth of that song that was making a difference in people’s lives -- that God was doing a work through the music. But all the while I realized, why am I such a joke?Clay: Sex is every man’s battle, and I’m right in there with that battle. I have experienced that full on.
Question: Did your wife know?
Clay: She didn’t know everything. She knew I had a wandering eye. But she didn’t know the level of my lust and my secret desires, partially fueled by occasional pornography. It was poisoning me.
Question: Did you have porn in the house?
Clay: I did, and truthfully that’s where I saw it. I wouldn’t want it in my suitcase for fears of what if I was in an accident and somebody had to look through my belongings and found it?
Question: You actually thought this through.
Clay: Oh yes. So I didn’t see it on the road. People can’t believe that. I had it hidden in my home, and when Renee and my girls from time to time were not around, I would look at it. I would fall to that, I would justify it and just think to myself it’s really not that big a deal. But looking back I know, it was doing real damage to me.
Clay Crosse - Revelation Song
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